Using a special app on my phone I was able to catch Stick Hitler in the act of dry humping my coffee, taking a shit in my tea, and trying to steal my cupcake. That motherfucker needed a good spearing. Also what’s the deal with Hitler and people killing themselves? Seriously check this exerpt from Eva Braun’s Wikipedia page out.
Hitler saw more of Braun after the apparent 1931 suicide of his half sister, Angela’s daughter Geli Raubal, with whom, it was rumoured, he had been intimate. The circumstances of Raubal’s death in Munich have never been confirmed. Some historians suggest she killed herself because she was distraught over her relationship with Hitler or his relationship with Braun, while others have speculated Hitler played a more direct role in the death of his niece. Braun was unaware that Raubal was a rival for Hitler’s affections until after Raubal’s death. Meanwhile, Hitler was seeing other women, such as actress Renate Müller, whose early death may also have been suicide.
Eva Braun first attempted suicide on 1 November 1932 at the age of 20 by shooting herself in the chest with her father’s pistol. She attempted suicide a second time on 28 May 1935 by taking an overdose of Phanodorm (sleeping pills). After Braun’s recovery, Hitler became more committed to her and arranged for the substantial royalties from widely published and popular photographs of him taken by Hoffmann’s photo studio to pay for a villa in Munich. This income also provided her with a Mercedes, a chauffeur and a maid. Braun’s sister Gretl moved in with her. Hoffmann later asserted Braun became a fixture in Hitler’s life by attempting suicide less than a year after Geli Raubal’s death, as Hitler wished to avoid any further scandal.
Oh Hitler…When are you gonna learn not to put your dick in crazy?